Chapter 180: Chapter 1 “I’m no hero. I’m not-” Riftan’s voice came out strangled. He stopped when Maxi touched his chest and looked up at her in a daze. She kissed his cheek while her hands dug into his hair that gleamed almost dark blue. As she wound the shaggy lock above his nape around her finger, a tremor coursed through his chiseled torso. “Maxi... stop...” She kissed his earlobe, pretending not to hear him. A growl rumbled in his throat. He grabbed her shoulders with trembling hands and pried her off. “You’ve done enough.” Maxi’s face flushed with embarrassment, and she anxiously looked up at him. “D-Do you not... want me anymore?” Guilt flashed across Riftan’s features. He scrubbed at his face, then swore under his breath. “Do you think... that’s possible? I wanted you even when you were at your most frail.” “Then...” With a sigh of relief, Maxi placed her hand on his forearm. Riftan jerked away from her as though he had been branded with a burning iron. The pain in his eyes was palpable. “But I don’t want to. Don’t you understand? It disgusts me that I was no better than a beast in a rut, even as you were lying there wounded!” He bent to rub his forehead on her hand and inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t want to make you suffer anymore. I want to protect you. At least once, I want to treat you the way you deserve.” “B-But I’m not suffering.” She lowered herself onto his lap, but he flinched and rose from the bed. “You have... never done a-anything to hurt me. I like... all that you do. I want to... touch you.” She could see his throat bobbing wildly. Riftan stretched his arms out but stopped himself from embracing her. His hands clenched into fists again. To Maxi’s surprise, there was fear on his face. This man, who had faced terrifying monsters without batting an eye, appeared to be afraid of a woman less than half his size. His jaw strained as he clenched his teeth before he looked away. “No, I can’t. I can’t promise that I’ll be gentle. I would no doubt take you like a frenzied beast-” Maxi began undoing his belt and slipping her hands inside his clothes. Riftan inhaled sharply and bunched the blanket in his fist in an attempt to gather his self-control. After hesitating for a moment, Maxi pressed her lips against his slightly parted ones and tentatively pushed her tongue forward. The tip of his was sweet from the wine. When she gently licked his lips as if to savor the taste, Riftan responded hungrily. Twisting her hair in his fist, he entwined his tongue with hers. Maxi wound her arms around the sides of his feverish neck. Tilting his head, Riftan pushed his tongue deeper and squeezed her breast over her bodice. Maxi felt her blood begin to simmer at all the sensations. She let out a moan and mirrored his caresses. Even in the dark, she could see Riftan’s face burning red. He practically tore off her bodice and sucked on the taut peak of her breast. Maxi shuddered and hugged his head. She could feel her insides melting like candle wax. Her dress was bunched around her waist; Riftan grabbed it and pulled it down to her feet. He rubbed her damp back with a calloused hand and peppered sultry kisses across her pale abdomen. Before she knew it, she was lying on the bed, her whole body flushed pink. The swaying shadows cast by the lamplight swept over them. Maxi yanked his tunic over his head, and he pulled her into his arms in a crushing embrace. She could feel his arousal pressed between her legs. Riftan slowly rubbed himself against her while raining kisses on her breast and neck. The burning desire now had Maxi clawing at his shoulders. Riftan jerked away as though finally coming to his senses. Maxi looked up in bewilderment. His face was crumpled in frustration, and his body shook ever so slightly. Despite this, he summoned his self-control and covered her naked body with the blanket. A stiff smile twisted his lips. “We should... stop here for today. You’ve only just gotten better.” Maxi watched in a stupor as Riftan sat up with his back to her and pulled on his trousers. Her initial embarrassment soon gave way to a simmering incredulity and anger. She was tired of him treating her like a debilitated patient. She yanked his arm as he was trying to pick up the tunic he had thrown on the floor. She had intended to pull him back onto the bed, but their difference in weight made it impossible. Left with no other option, she climbed onto his lap. Riftan sat frozen with a vacant expression as she pressed her swollen lips to his. He sucked in a quick breath. It was almost laughable how easily his self-control crumbled. A strange sense of triumph filled her as she gazed down at him. “I-I am... not a child you need to protect. I am... your wife.” For a moment, Riftan looked taken aback before his eyes slowly grew pained. Her delight quickly deflated when she saw the bleakness in them. His chiseled features contorted, and he said in a low mutter, “And? What do you intend to do now?” “Wh-What else?” Maxi’s heart fluttered. She had naively hoped that he would take the lead from there. Riftan’s eyes roamed over her face, bare chest, and abdomen before he squeezed them shut. Creases lined his forehead. Her confidence perked up at his reaction, and she placed her hand on his chest. His heart was beating so wildly that she was afraid it might burst. “Y-You said i-it was... natural for married couples to do these things,” she murmured, kissing the tip of his chin and sliding her hand from his lean collarbone to his abdomen. A pained groan escaped his lips. “Just kill me.” Her hand twitched at the genuine pain in his voice. He pressed his fists into his eyes. Though he said he was holding back out of worry for her, it was possible that he simply did not want to. Maxi slowly pulled away. “If you... don’t like this... I’ll stop.” His eyes snapped open, and he looked up at her resentfully as if she had scorned him. She hesitated, unsure of what to do next. Riftan remained silent for a long moment. “I don’t have the confidence to be gentle.” He sounded deflated. “You’ll have to do it yourself.” Mortified, Maxi glanced about before stammering, “T-Teach me... what to do...” She saw his hands trembling as he lowered his trousers. He then hoisted her onto his lap. “Spread your legs. Yes... sit lower... just like that...” Maxi positioned herself on top and slowly took him in. She was so tight that it felt a little uncomfortable. When she rested her hands on his abdomen and froze, Riftan twitched and bit his lip. His whole body burned red like heated copper as he tried to restrain himself. “Does it hurt?” he said in a raspy voice. It had been a while since she had last received him, and Maxi shook her head against the pain. He reached out to touch her before clenching his fist until his knuckles turned white. He clutched at the blanket. “Try moving a little. But... only as you want... Nghh...” As she began to slide languidly up and down, Riftan threw his head back into the pillow and yanked at the blanket. He was like a lion struggling against its chains. ... Maxi watched his face with glazed eyes as she slowly took him to the hilt before going up again. The pain disappeared as she maintained the rhythm, and sensual pleasure began to build inside her. Again and again, she tightened around him. Riftan moaned as though she were killing him. His body was slick with sweat, and his breathing grew ragged. Maxi could not believe that the strongest man in the world was so helplessly surrendering himself beneath her. Though his need seemed to be growing keener the more she moved, he kept a tight grip on his self-control. Maxi tried to move faster but found it was not that easy. She was soon at her limits. The place where they merged throbbed, and a convulsion erupted within her. Even so, a part of her was not satisfied. Splayed out on his chest, she longingly rubbed herself against him. “R-Riftan... help me.” He gulped, then wrapped his arms around her waist and began to move deeper and faster inside her. Maxi desperately clung to him as her vision went white. Sharp pleasure shot up her spine whenever he thrust into her. She pressed her forehead on his shoulder and cried out. His hands hungrily roamed over her shoulders, back, and neck. He seemed unable to stop himself. He mumbled something unintelligible before moving faster like a stallion freed from its reins. Maxi writhed, and her toes curled. Finally, an intense climax tore through her. Riftan’s arms tightened around her convulsing body. How wonderful would it be if we could be merged as one like this forever? That was Maxi’s last thought before she closed her eyes. She awoke to the sound of pouring rain. Her eyes fluttered open to take in the unfamiliar room and the wavering shadows on the walls. For a brief moment, she blinked in confusion before looking up at the hand stroking her hair. Riftan sat next to her staring out the window with his back against the wall. ... Maxi gazed blankly up at him and realized that she was using his legs as a pillow. When she tried to sit up, Riftan nudged her head back onto his lap. “Lie still.” He twiddled with her earlobe, then ran his fingers through her disheveled hair. Maxi hunched her shoulders against the tickling sensation. Looking worried, Riftan adjusted the sheet that had slipped down. “Are you feeling all right?” “Y-Yes.” “I tried to hold back till the end, but you made it extremely difficult.” Only then did it occur to Maxi that she may have been too bold. Hiding her flushed face beneath her messy hair, she tried to change the subject. “I-It seems to be raining.” Riftan watched the raindrops pelting the window as he answered. “It’s the autumn rain. The temperature will drop once it stops.” Flicking a glance at his dark expression, she cautiously reached for his hand resting on his knee. He stiffened as she interlaced his long fingers with her own. “D-Don’t be so angry anymore,” she murmured as she brushed his rugged knuckles and calluses. “To be honest... I’m happy that you won’t have to go to war.” “Don’t you despise that man?” Maxi’s face fell. Fear was the first emotion that came to her when she thought of her father. It was a bone-deep terror that ate away at her before giving way to helplessness and shame. Perhaps, under all those emotions, one would find resentment and hate. Nevertheless, the fear was so intense that hatred did not even have a chance to come through. Fidgeting, Maxi replied hollowly, “I-I don’t... want to think about that man.” Silence settled over them. For a long moment, the only sounds came from the crackling fire and pouring rain. Riftan spoke first. “You never looked happy,” he said, gazing down at her with somber eyes. “I even considered entering the castle by stealth and kidnapping you.” His lips twisted into a self-deprecating smile. “But right after I had the thought, I noticed all the opulence. I asked myself how I could possibly make you happy when even living in such a beautiful world could not.” Maxi looked nervously to the side, and Riftan’s smile grew rueful. “I should’ve carried you away sooner, and not let those thoughts stop me.” “That... w-would have been wonderful.” Riftan’s smile faded at her ready agreement. His eyes had a faraway look as he gazed back at her. He turned back to the window. “You would have fainted from shock. You detested me back then.” “I-I never detested you. I was... afraid of you. Haven’t I already t-told you this?” “In my eyes, it seemed like you hated me.” Growing angry, Maxi glowered at him. “W-Well, in my eyes-” She pursed her lips. Riftan wound a lock of her hair around his finger and waited for her to finish. After a moment’s hesitation, Maxi spat out, “I-In my eyes... you seemed to hate me too.”