Chapter 1052 Gods and Guardians Part 4 "As for Nalrond, making him dine alone would be beyond rude, and since we’re going to spend quite a bit of time together, we’d better start now." Friya said. Nalrond didn’t like being on the receiving end of such blunt sincerity, but crashing the party beat spending all of his apprenticeship alone. He just gave her a small bow as a thank you and remained silent. ’Worst case scenario, I’ll pretend to listen and nod from time to time. I don’t know them or what they went through and honestly, I don’t care. The problem is that I can’t keep living like this. I must learn how to interact with the other races properly. ’I can’t use my grief to cut everyone out of my life.’ Nalrond thought. Lith moved them all to the dining room, where a circular table set for six people waited for them. Everything from the napkins to the cutlery was the product of exquisite craftsmanship. "Are you hitting on one of us or what?" Quylla said while appreciating the gold veined porcelain plates. "I didn’t expect such luxury from someone as stingy as you." 𝒻𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘸ℯ𝒷𝘯𝘰𝑣ℯ𝑙.𝘤𝑜𝘮 "Nope. I’m just showing off my tower." Lith smirked. "Solus can replicate anything we see as long as it doesn’t require enchanted materials so I can have whatever I want just by window shopping." "You must be the only show-off who’s also a cheapskate." The Ernas sisters laughed in unison. "He truly is." Solus joined them. "You have no idea how long it took me to have Lith dine in more than just a replica of the Verhens’ kitchen." "I’m a creature of habit." Lith replied with a snort. "Yeah, right. If not for Phloria and Kamila, his idea of romantic dinner would still be a well-done steak wolfed down over the Forge between experiments." Solus said. After Lith took six pork shanks accompanied by Maekosh’s award-winning red ale he had bought for the occasion out of his pocket dimension and everyone started eating, Friya spoke. "I know that my choice might be sound reckless to you, but this is my life. I didn’t tell you about it because you can’t possibly understand my situation and because it’s too painful." She had to admit that Lith had excellent taste in beer. "Maye we can’t fully understand, but we can at least try." Phloria said. "I don’t believe you came to such a big decision out of the blue. You must have thought about it for a long time." "Well, I never considered becoming a Harbinger until today, that was a desperate move, but you’re right about the rest." Friya said. "The truth is that before your mother, I mean, Mom, adopted me I had all my life planned out. I would take the reins of the Solivar household and make sure that my family grew in power, establishing us as a magical bloodline. "I was ready to accept an arranged marriage and give birth to children until I had a magically gifted heir, but you know how it went. After my mother betrayed the Kingdom, I was left with nothing but the stigma of a traitor. "The Ernas already had an heir, Gunyin, your family is already an established magical bloodline, and I was adopted. I wasn’t part of the line of succession and had to just content myself with survival. "I think I would have gone insane if I didn’t have to take care of Quylla." Friya took her sister’s hand, looking at her with affection. "She was even more adrift than I was and I poured all my energy into helping her not only because she needed me, but also because I didn’t have the strength to face reality. "Once our group split up, after Quylla started to walk on her own, I had to do the same. Unlike you Phloria, my long-term plan was forever lost and unlike Quylla, I had no real passion nor interest. I never understood Lith’s goals and to be honest, I still don’t, so following any of you wasn’t an option. "On top of that, I was tired of competing and failing against you all. I never felt special. No matter what I did, one of you would manage to do it better. My guild was supposed to be my way out of mediocrity. "I wanted to explore the Kingdom on my terms, to be my own boss. My plan was to find new companions, to find my place in the world, or at least understand what the heck I want to do with my life." Friya sighed. "Yet even though everything went as I wanted, I never felt more alone in my life. I missed you all like crazy. No one of my new companions was really trustworthy. Most of them just wanted to hit on me or leech on the Ernas household. "More than an adventurer, I’ve been a babysitter for lesser mages. During the last few years, I had my share of flings but no boyfriends. Heck, I don’t even know if I ever loved any of them or if I was just trying to fill the void I felt in my heart. "Yet I soldiered on and did what society expects from an adult mage. I earned my living doing a job I hated, I spent time with people I didn’t actually care about, and I researched Dimensional Magic. "Now, however, my guild is gone. I don’t care enough about it to start from scratch, not when you all are about to go to a place where I can’t reach you anymore." Friya put down her cutlery, doing her best to hold back her tears. "Even when I risked years of life span in Zantia, I didn’t care because you were with me, Lith. Between you and Protector, you made me feel more alive in those few days than I had been in years. "You made me remember how it feels to fight alongside someone you really trust. Down in those caves, even inside Baba Yaga’s hut, I wasn’t afraid of the future because you, my sisters, were with me. "The time we spent in the mines made me understand that I’m sick and tired of wasting my life with something I don’t care about. I don’t want to feel so alone never again, yet Lith and Phloria are Awakened while Quylla is bound to be the next Manohar if she learns from Faluel. "I’m ready to become a Harbinger because at least it would allow me to not be a burden for you guys. I don’t care about my freedom because it’s wasted on me. I don’t know what to do and I’m too tired to care anymore. "If Faluel rejects me, I might as well go back home and marry one of Mom’s relatives from the Myrok household. At least I’m certain that Mom will pick for me someone who will treat me right and I will be finally done with struggling for everything. "I can’t live with the thought of always being on the losing end nor of losing you guys forever. I’d rather give up and accept my mediocrity." "How dare you talk like that about my hottest friend?" Lith said with such sincere outrage that made her giggle and pissed off the rest. "You have three specializations, one of which is rarer than finding a unicorn under a rainbow, and you are an excellent tactician."