Chapter 78: Use me 2 CIAN The doors to the healer quarters slammed open so hard the hinges screamed. I did not care if they broke. "Thorne! Maren!" My voice came out raw. Desperate. "Do something." Maren looked up from her workstation. Her eyes went wide when she saw Fia in my arms. The blood seeping through her fingers. The way her head lolled against my chest. She moved fast. I had to give her that. "Bring a bed!" she shouted at the omegas behind her. "Now!" They scrambled. A wheeled cot appeared and I laid Fia down on it. Her hand fell away from her neck and the wound gaped at me. Red and angry and still bleeding. Maren pressed a thick bandage against it. Her hands were steady. Mine were not. "What happened?" she asked. "Mad." The word tasted bitter in my mouth. "Another disloyal wolf. She tried to kill Fia for discovering her." Maren nodded. She did not ask more questions. She simply just got to work. I watched her hands move. Quick. Efficient. She pressed harder on the bandage and Fia made a small sound. Barely there. But I heard it. "Where is Thorne?" "Greenhouse." Maren did not look up. "Attending to his herbs." Of course he was. The one time I actually needed the old bastard and he was playing in the dirt. "Sera," Maren said to one of the omegas. "Fetch me the—" "Fuck that." The words came out sharper than I meant them to. Maren finally looked at me. "I barely trust any of them at this point." I stepped closer to the cot. "What do you need them to do? I will do it." Something flickered across her face. Surprise maybe. Or understanding. Either way she did not argue. "Basin of warm water. Clean cloths. The brown bottle on the third shelf. And the suturing kit from the cabinet." I moved. The basin sat in the corner, waiting. I turned on the tap and let the water rise, steam curling up as I dipped my wrist in. Too hot. I eased the tap until the heat softened, checked again, and let out a small breath when it came out just right. The cloths were easy. The brown bottle took longer because there were a dozen damn bottles on the third shelf and none of them were labeled properly. I grabbed the one that looked brownest and smelled right from all my time here and brought everything to Maren. She worked while I watched. The bleeding slowed under her hands. She cleaned the wound with careful strokes. The water in the basin turned pink then red then something darker. "Hold this," she said. I held. "Press here." I pressed. "Now lift her head. Gently." I lifted. Gently. Fia’s hair was matted with blood. It stuck to my fingers in dark clumps. She looked so small like this. So fragile. I had seen her stand up to me. Argue with me. Lie to my face without flinching. But now she just looked like a girl who had almost died. Because of me. Because I had not gotten there fast enough. Maren stitched the wound closed with neat little movements. Each one made my stomach twist. But I did not look away. I owed her that much at least. To witness what my failure had cost her. "Done," Maren said finally. She stepped back and wiped her hands on a cloth. "The wound was not as deep as it looked. She lost blood but not enough to be dangerous. She will heal." I should have felt relief. But I felt nothing. I walked to the basin and plunged my hands into the water. The red swirled off my skin in lazy spirals. I scrubbed until my knuckles ached. Until the water ran clear. Until there was no trace of what I had done. "She looks pale." I stared down at my clean hands. They did not feel clean. "And cold." "There is something that can help with that." I turned. Maren was watching me with an expression I could not read. "A lot of the time I do not buy Thorne’s traditional bullshit," she said. "It is why I chose alternative medicine for wolves in the first place instead of just being a native healer. But many times we still work in synergy." She paused. "So I know this." "Know what?" "When a wolf is injured badly, being close to their mate and their warmth does miracles for them." She held up a hand before I could speak. "I know what you want to say. Bullshit. But I kid you not, Alpha Cian. I have seen it play out a hundred times." I dried my hands slowly. The towel was rough against my skin. "She just needs you beside her," Maren continued. "Her health will pick up in a heartbeat." I looked at Fia. Her chest rose and fell in shallow breaths. Her lips had lost their color. Her skin looked like paper. "But you do not have to," Maren added. "Luna Fia will pick up in the morning." The morning. Hours away. Hours of her lying there cold and pale while I what? Raised hell to find all I could about Bo and maybe her other accomplices? Sat in my study and pretended I did not feel her through the bond? Pretended I did not feel every weak flutter of her heartbeat like it was my own while I worried about finding the Witch who made the poison that put my mother in a state of in between? I sighed. "There could be another mad follower of my uncle here. Who knows what they will do?" "You could make use of Elder Moira’s talent," Maren said. "Get your wolves to swear loyalty to you before the moon goddess like they promised to do with your father’s father. Your father and yourself." "And what? Hope that the goddess strikes them down if they lie?" "There is a reason you did not reject her on the spot for her deception." Maren’s voice was quiet. Careful. "There is a reason this bond flares like fire between you two. And there is a reason even my skeptic ass believes this shit." She met my eyes. "It is real." I bit my lower lip hard enough to taste copper. I knew. Goddess help me I knew. I had felt it when her terror crashed into me through the bond. Had felt it when I tore through those doors and saw her pinned beneath that traitor. Had felt it when I held her broken body in my arms and ran like the devil himself was chasing us. This thing between us. This bond I never asked for and never wanted. It was real. And it was getting harder to pretend it was not. Which made it scary. Because I thought I knew how deep it was. But tonight showed me just how much we kept what the goddess made us share under wraps. "You can go," Maren said. "I will take extra watch of Luna Fia. I will not sleep." "There is no need for that." The words left my mouth before I could stop them. Maren raised an eyebrow. "Warmth right?" I cleared my throat. "I can manage." I crossed to the cot and gathered Fia in my arms again. She was lighter than before. Or maybe I was just used to carrying her now. That thought did something strange to my chest. Maren said nothing as I left. But I felt her eyes on my back all the way to the door. The walk to my chambers felt longer than it should have. Every corridor stretched out ahead of me like it was trying to give me time to change my mind. To turn around. To hand her off to someone else and go back to my empty room alone. I did not turn around. My door opened with a click and I carried her inside. The room was dark. I did not bother with the lights. I just crossed to the bed and laid her down on the mattress. She looked wrong against my sheets. Too still. Too quiet. Fia was never quiet. I pulled off my shirt and tossed it somewhere. The air was cold against my skin but I ignored it. I climbed onto the bed beside her and pulled her close. She was ice. Her body felt like she had been lying in snow for hours. The cold seeped through my skin and settled into my bones. I wrapped my arms around her tighter. Pulled her against my chest until there was no space between us. The duvet came next. I dragged it over us both and tucked it around her shoulders. Around her hands. Around every part of her that was exposed to the air. Then I lay there. Her face was inches from mine. I could count her eyelashes if I wanted to. I could trace the shape of her lips. The curve of her cheek. The little crease between her brows that appeared even in sleep. She was... nice to look at. I had known that from the moment I saw her. I had known it and resented it. Because nice things to look at in my life had a habit of being dangerous. Of being mirages wrapped in pretty packaging. But lying here with her cold body slowly warming against mine. With her breath fanning soft across my collarbone. With the bond humming between us like a living thing. It was getting hard to remember why I was supposed to keep my distance from her. "This is going to be awkward as hell when morning comes," I muttered. She did not respond. Of course she did not. She was unconscious. But I swore her lips twitched. Just a little. Just enough to make me wonder. I closed my eyes. Her heartbeat steadied against my chest. Stronger now. More sure. And something loosened in my own chest. Something I had not realized was wound so tight. She was alive. She was safe. And I was in so much trouble.