Chapter 181: Chapter 1 Riftan’s fingers froze. Still lying on his lap, Maxi stared up at him as he watched the raindrops spatter the window. He seemed to be avoiding her gaze. “I was nervous,” he said bluntly. “Croyso Castle was not the most comfortable place for me.” Maxi blinked. Even as a low-ranking knight, Riftan had appeared more imposing and confident than any nobleman. Although his manner had lacked refinement, the air of aloofness that always shrouded him suggested he did not care for the opinions of others. Maxi pursed her lips. “Y-You lie. How could a nervous person... be so haughty?” “Was I haughty?” he asked, furrowing his brow. Tilting her chin high, Maxi summoned the most arrogant expression she could. “You used to look at people like this... w-whenever someone spoke to you.” “I had no idea I looked so adorable,” said Riftan, chuckling. He lowered his head to plant a kiss on her pursed lips. Maxi frowned as she brushed away his hair that pricked her eyes. “And... you used to... scowl and glare at me... whenever our eyes met. It was quite terrifying...” “I suppose my grim appearance is to blame,” he said flatly. “I was simply looking at you.” He then squashed her swollen cheeks, making her look like a flattened pufferfish. Her face flushing, Maxi irritably pushed his hands away. His evasive manner seemed to trigger something, and it felt like she bristled with thorns. She glared at him, her eyes full of distrust. “N-No. You seemed to be angry at something. Th-That’s why... it sometimes... made me wonder if you d-disliked me.” His smile vanished, and his black eyes clouded over like he was trying to conceal his true feelings. Maxi anxiously studied his face. He drew his lips into a bitter smile as he muttered, “I thought you hated me. You tensed up whenever I approached, and you looked terrified whenever I tried to talk to you. I felt like a horrifying monster.” He clutched a lock of her hair that was strewn over her shoulder and brought it to his lips. “It began to vex me after a while, so I decided to hate you as well. I wanted to get you out of my head so I could be at peace again.” Maxi was momentarily speechless. She tried to recall the first time she had seen him and wondered how long she had been in his thoughts. Looking back, she saw him entering the castle with the other knights dispatched by the royal family to settle a dispute between the duchy and Drachium. Even in the midst of hundreds of knights, he had been the center of attention. Maidservants had vied for the chance to attend to him, and even the noblewomen invited to the banquets had been unable to pry their eyes away. Maxi, on the other hand, had found it difficult to understand all the fuss over someone who seemed so cold. Riftan was right – her first impression of him was what had caused her to freeze whenever he looked at her. She would never have thought that anyone would be attracted to her, and Riftan was a man extremely adept at hiding his emotions. After a hesitant pause, she reached out to caress his bronze cheek. “Is that why... you came to d-dislike me?” “Yes.” Her fingers twitched at his curt answer. She pulled back, but Riftan caught her hand and pressed it against his cheek. “I hated how you captivated me so completely.” His eyes grew somber. Maxi sat up and climbed onto his lap. “I-I never... disliked you. It’s true, I was scared... but I always thought y-you were dashing. That was why... I was more nervous when you were around.” His gaze bore into her as if to determine whether she was telling the truth. Then, draping the blanket over her pale shoulders, he pulled her into a crushing embrace. Being encircled in his warm, muscular arms felt unbearably euphoric. She leaned her head in the hollow of his shoulder and exhaled a shaky breath. Was this how a baby bird in a warm nest felt? It was as if all the heartache, sorrow, fear, and pain melted away in the comfortable air enveloping them. Watching the shifting shadows, Maxi abruptly asked, “W-Were you... ever disappointed in me?” His sturdy arms tightened around her. “I...” she said in a weak voice, “stutter... a-and I miscarried our child... I-I am sure I’m not... the lofty noblewoman you think I-” “You are everything I dreamed you would be,” he said gruffly. “No, that’s not right. You are beyond what I ever imagined. You are impossibly brave, suffocatingly lovable. As for the child...” Riftan gulped as though his throat was parched. “To be honest, I don’t even want one anymore. You have no idea how much blood you lost that day. I don’t want to risk something like that happening ever again.” Maxi felt a faint tremor go through him, and she blinked her misty eyes. She hated herself for feeling relieved. It was undeniable that he needed an heir, not to mention that producing one was her most fundamental duty as his wife. Her own mother had gone through several pregnancies and miscarriages to fulfill this obligation at the expense of her own life. Considering her father’s obsession with securing a male heir, Riftan’s remark was baffling. Maxi narrowed her eyes, trying to ascertain his sincerity. Riftan lowered his head to kiss her wet eyelid. “You are all I need.” His words seemed to reverberate in her heart. As she burrowed herself against his chest, their merged shadows looked like a strangely-formed animal. How wonderful it would be if they could become a single entity like that, never to be separated again. She wished that they were the only two people in the world. Inebriated by the pleasant sensation of his hand stroking her hair, Maxi closed her heavy eyelids. A calm lull settled over them as the rain eased. *** After Riftan rescinded Anatol’s declaration of war, the tension that had engulfed Calypse Castle immediately evaporated. Though it was obvious that the security at the ramparts was still heightened, the coming and going of mercenaries and weapon-laden carts noticeably decreased. Maxi waited for the right time to inform Riftan about her father’s secret scheme. To her surprise, Riftan took the news calmly. “We were expecting this. He appears to be putting pressure on the merchants to stop them coming to Anatol.” Maxi’s face fell. Anatol was a small territory surrounded by mountains, and it had little arable land. It thus relied on trade for most of its food supply. If the big merchant guilds were to cease trading here, they would not be able to last the year. “Th-Then... what should we do?” she asked, sounding distressed. “If the merchants stop doing business with us... we won’t be able to last the win-” “There is no real threat,” Riftan replied apathetically while he oiled his sword. “Merchants from the Southern Continent still come in through the port. In the future, large quantities of spices and silk will pass through Anatol annually. If any merchant stops coming, it would be their loss.” Though his calm explanation was somewhat reassuring, Maxi knew how tenacious her father could be. She could not help but worry. “H-He might be... plotting other things. My father w-would never be content with that sort of retaliation...” With a sigh, Riftan lowered his sword and strode over. He picked Maxi up and perched himself on the edge of the bed. “There are still merchants who want to continue business in Anatol,” he said as though reassuring a child, “and I’ve commissioned them to keep track of the duke’s movements. You don’t have to worry about anything.” Maxi sullenly hung her head. “I-I’m sorry. It’s all because of me.” “Stop it,” he said brusquely. “None of this is your fault.” He fiddled with the lock of her hair he had wound around his fist. Maxi suppressed a sigh as she studied his solemn face. It seemed that Riftan was waiting for the Duke of Croyso to make the first move. He would be ready to fight the moment the duke provided him with an excuse. The whole situation felt like a dam on the brink of collapse. ... Despite her worries, time passed peacefully, and Calypse Castle began bustling with winter preparations. The weather grew colder by the day as Paxias drew closer. After two weeks, even Maxi’s anxieties abated. People rarely traveled out of their estates when the weather was like this. Even if the Duke of Croyso were plotting something, he would have to wait until the end of winter to execute it. It occurred to Maxi that she would only be making herself miserable by worrying prematurely. She forced the thoughts from her mind. The truth was that she barely had time to be worried. Ever since withdrawing the war declaration, Riftan was always by her side. She flicked a glance at him as she brushed Rem’s mane. Clad in comfortable garments, Riftan leisurely fed Talon an apple. His casual attire suggested that he would not be going to the training grounds or leaving the castle. Maxi furrowed her brow. Though their days together were blissful, she worried that he was allocating too much time for her. She knew first-hand how busy he was. After silently brushing Rem’s mane for a long while, Maxi cautiously probed him. “A-Aren’t you busy? You don’t... have to tax yourself by trying to spend so much time with me anymore. I’m better now, and...” “The road construction is finished, as are the winter preparations. The only thing left for me to worry about is our defenses,” Riftan said, looking slightly displeased. “Does having me around annoy you?” “O-Of course not. It’s just that, last year... you barely had time to sleep... And now spending all this time with me, I thought...” “I’d just returned from the campaign last year. I was busy taking care of a backlog of matters. I have no intention of working so hard for the rest of my life.” “I would like to voice my objection to that.” Startled by the intruder, Maxi whirled around. A disgruntled Hebaron was standing at the stable’s entrance. ... “You’re not planning on making me oversee all the training sessions, are you? I’m already up to my ears managing the guardhouse.” “Don’t talk as if you’ve taken on all the burden. I know you’ve dumped your guardhouse duties on Elliot,” Riftan replied. He grabbed another apple from the manger and held it out for Talon. “After all your fooling around, it’s the least you can do without grumbling.” Hebaron’s lips twitched as if to shoot back before he flicked a glance at Maxi. He heaved a sigh. “We’ll talk about it soon... Right now, you’re needed in the knights’ quarters. Our spies are back from the duchy.” Maxi flinched and grew still. Riftan shot Hebaron a cold glare. “I won’t be long. Wait for me there.”